Thursday, July 29th, 2021
Somehow, we have made twenty-five years of happily married bliss…
For us, married life is just like a pack of cards, you start with a couple of hearts and a diamond, then end up with spades & clubs and we’ve even managed to have our own little joker!
If our arranged marriage fascinates you, the miracle of it all, then please read on.
Krish and I only met once, for literally a fifteen-minute chat and we agreed to marry each other. Let’s face it, it would never have been a difficult decision for me to make. Krish is loyal, loving, gentle, hugely intelligent and just a genuinely beautiful soul.
Twenty-five years have gone by in a flash, we have had some real low points, times that you never really get over but you learn to live with and it’s the stuff that makes you stronger and makes you grow up. Growing up isn’t easy in a culture like ours when we are constantly being told what to do and all your decisions are pretty much made for you.
So… I will move on to our love story (if there ever was one). Back then, I was so different, so childish – I prefer the stronger, wiser and older version of me.
Krish, still has those strong values he had back then and I think it’s fair to say he is as loyal in his beliefs as he was back then. He is a hugely generous man and there is a lot to be learned from our incredible union.
Seriously, I rarely celebrate our relationship so bear with me, I won’t probably write about us for at least the next five years.
We aren’t a typical couple and I remember so many aunts saying they never really loved their husbands and that’s just how it is in our culture. You just get on with it, yeah, right like I would do that (!)
Our marriage is truly unique, just as any relationship is. Ours is no better, nor worse than any other.
What we have is very special, it’s the respect and care we have for each other. Krish is the easiest-going, least demanding person ever to exist. He just tootles along at his own pace and I just “shimmy” him along to speed him up but he has very much learned to ignore me. He calls it nagging and I for a fact know, it’s a gentle nudge, from a place of kindness.
There are some beautiful love stories that have risen from the pandemic and I might just sneakily add ours into that list. Well, we have been thrown together for the last eighteen months and we have made the most of it. we have had some lovely days out and made some magical memories.
The point is, we are worlds apart in everything we do, which we do at our very own pace, we literally are the hare and the tortoise.
He is super fit, a black belt(sash) in Lau Gar Kungfu, disciplined, but again he does it all with ease, at his own leisurely, peaceful pace.
Physically, I am slower but still go at such a pace at times, he cannot actually believe that I can cook a feast in the time he has a shower.
We are supposed to be celebrating our marriage here so best get back to the topic of hearts, diamonds and flowers here (I am hysterical laughing here) so I won’t bore you with the essay that is the usual daily irritants of a usual middle-aged couple.
I’ve never let the world stop and put Krish first, he does absolutely demand nothing so he is pretty difficult to fuss over. But, from my girlfriends and their relationships, I have learned that “couple” time is important so we have started to have started proper time out, our own fun date nights.
Our marriage is like any, it comes with happy times, sad times, we have had particularly tough times, mostly in the form of my mental health and somehow Krish just supports me with whatever comes our way.
To celebrate our anniversary, we have a mini-break planned and you’ll be delighted to hear that Krish has booked for us to sit apart on the train journey. He wants peace and quiet while he can!
Would I recommend an arranged marriage? Never, all marriages are very tough to work at and to put a couple of strangers together is a recipe for disaster.
We just struck lucky.
If Sam was ever in that fortunate position to consider marriage, the only question I would ask is, does their happiness matter more than your own, if so, I give you my 100% blessing. I would never wish for him to have had the struggle we have had, despite being our little joker!
Lajina Leal, Founder, Lajina Masala
Lajina had a Corporate Career as an Accountant for many years and whilst discussing an impending redundancy in an Indian restaurant with her friends, they persuaded her to set up an Indian Cooking School.
The fun started in October 2013 and the business has grown from strength to strength.